Rolling the dice of LIFE

Sometimes I feel like life is just like rolling the dice... just when you think you are about to hit that big Yahtzee score.... instead of scoring an extra fifty points...something gets scratched.



Lately the snake eyes I think we have rolled...turned into bupkiss...and more headaches along the way. I can handle it... I know that life is all about ups and downs and there is always another day ahead to turn things around but GEEZE!



So today..in honor of the fact I am on day2 of self imposed torture ... giving up nicotine a little of this, a little of that... a vent, a rant, a loony rave.



lets see... we rolled the dice into the family court system once again... happy to hear that the 'GREAT Judge' was sitting on the bench that day turned into stress and despair when we also heard... "she doesn't want to be here, the building makes her sick?" and then " someone died in the judge's family this morning everyone has to be gone by 5" YUP ... the judge that on a normal day takes five minutes to read your papers, considers the factors in the case and generally is fair to all.... just wanted the hell outta dodge... could care less about listening to the wishes of the people, the needs of the children just says... "sir I think you should just psst get, and begone" pointing My Love towards the door. Not really sure what legal terms that statement falls under, and at least we came out no worse than going in... but really...after spending 9-5 in the hallways of the Honourable Family Courts? whatta joke. Whatta joke that any chicka with a pen can sign and swear on a simple piece of paper dragging everyone thru the system for what? a big old nothing!!! Whatta a shame that at the end of the day, the Lawyers and the Bailiffs sit waiting for the end, discussing the failures of the system, the time wasted, the energy spent for nothing. To most of the women I witnessed that day.....? Happy Hour without the booze, social time making new friends, a chance to disparage those around them, to giggle and laugh and make illicit plans of sharing crowbars and bringing down those evils dads. What I would give to have that security cam fed directly to the judge's chambers...to display the actual behaviour of the 'injured party's' cause lets face it...to MOST of them...its more of a game to play?! I know I had told myself before I would not bring THIS into my blog... but damn it...I want a smoke, I am still pissed that so much time and money has to be spent to satisfy the needs of a twit who has nothing else better to do ...with LIFE... which many seem to forget.. people have lives, people have obligations to fulfill, families to support and spending 9-5 staring at the walls... just doesn't fit that bill.



We rolled the dice again in life just over a year ago, finally upgrading the ol'truck that My Love drives... finally giving him a work vehicle that would get him from here to there without stepping thru that rusty hole in the floor. An added expense to our budget but also one that would add money to our day... or so we hoped. Go figure buying a slightly used low km vehicle at the end of the day... is costing us more than our home... repairs and fix its, daze without the damn truck we need and once again making us scratch our heads? where do we go from here? how do we make up for $$$ lost??? (see above...averaged about $1500 over the last year of attending courts... go figure roughly what we need to fix that truck!!!)



I sit rolling the dice over and over again...just give me a full house I ask, just a chance to get back on top, a chance to turn things around and take the pressure of My Love...who is just a guy, a husband, a father, working and busting his ass to support his family...but also the guy standing waiting for his head to explode... waiting for the moment when ... he might just catch a break.



We have the full house I am looking for, happy kids, happy household...if we can just hold on to that... if we can just be thankful for what we have and not focus on what we are missing I am sure we will make it thru this patch of rough... I am sure we will make it to the end of the day with a smile and love.



I know we are not the only ones in the world facing troubles, the poor folks down in Haiti... that kicks in the old reality check, and makes ya feel like a dork ..whining about our own troubles... our own friends and family facing their own demons and troubles... that is life right.... rolling the dice and making it day by day... one day at a time....RIGHT?!

DAMN what I would do for a puff... but I will not...I will not go outside to the spot where those emergency cigs R sitting...I will hold on...drink water...read the fantastic messages from my friends cheering me on... grab onto my hook and crochet my heart and cravings out... ring the old school bells and get those kids to work...before the patience runs out , before my tolerance for life runs out... Day TWO... I can handle the throughout the day stuff..its the first thing drag, the one after dinner drag ... the one that gives this mama five minutes of peace...outside in the fresh air alone... with my smoke... evil little bitch that stick... I hate her!!!!

Tomorrow I will blog again...Day3 and with any luck ...back to my Loony self without the poor me's and the rants...sharing some Loony tricks and tips... my cheapskate ways to keeping a clean and happy household...without the crud?!